Ava Mallory

Twenty-seven years ago, I gave birth to a human being. That's what I tell my son all the time. I went in blindly at all of twenty-two-years-old. I naively believed that natural childbirth meant you have the baby the natural way - meaning like a human being. Duh! Don't tell me. I know how ridiculously ridiculous that was. I should've asked someone. Well, when the time came at precisely ten p.m., right after a movie starring Pam Dawber started on t.v., my water broke. I didn't know that at the time. I mean, I felt something - obviously - but I didn't know that's what it was. I thought my bladder had given out. Again, I wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. I quickly jumped into gear to clean up the mess and change clothes. After that, I marched my ignorant behind to the kitchen to grab the food I'd been craving for hours - peanut butter, chocolate chips, and tea. For the record, anyone who knows me knows tea has never been my beverage of choice. ...